Success is not always about saying ‘yes’ to the opportunities right in front of you on the trail. Sometimes it is about saying ‘no’ and walking passed them in order to get closer to the opportunities high in the mountains you are intentionally trekking towards.

Throughout my adult life, and even when younger, I have been proud of a natural mentality to step up and take on more responsibility when it was needed. Any new opportunities that came about, I would confidently take over, without questioning. Take on a second job to help pay the rent when Mom was changing jobs? No brainer. Hand out paychecks when co-workers are stuck off mountain due to storms? Of course! Do the work of a business analyst before actually receiving the proper title? Duh! What else am I going to do? Let my skills go to waste?

Today, a new similar opportunity presented itself. Although I am not leaving anyone in the dust, I am also not waving my hands being the first to volunteer my time and energy. When discussing how the change of my manager leaving would affect myself and my team, rather than hoping and expecting to take on her responsibilities and maybe even her role, I instead was focused on maintaining my own priorities that I clearly expressed when taking on my own role. This winter season, I intentionally took a lower responsibility, lower hours per week, role in order to have more time and energy focused on my writing. So far, it has been a fantastic fit. Exactly what I was looking for. Now, with my team of two falling to a team of one, worry has filled my veins. Not worry about my ability to cover all that is within my responsibility, or worry over who her replacement will be, or worry if I will take on her job. Worried that I will do what I have always done, take on the additional responsibility and hours, and leave my poor manuscript and my writing career in a melted snow puddle on the side of the street.

The day was challenging. It was long. I did not take a lunch. I did not snowboard. I did not practice great time management or self-care. However, I am incredibly proud about one thing I did do. I kept my eyes focused on the mountains ahead. I did not let the opportunity that fell right in front of me on the trail slow me down. I acknowledged it, and immediately expressed my concern for it slowing me down. I was transparent, sharing that my goal is still to trek to those mountains in the distance, no matter how far and how difficult to climb. They are what I want. They are the reason why I hopped on this specific trail in the first place.

However, in our society, saying ‘no’ to opportunities where we take on more and new responsibilities and where we can express how tired and stressed we are due to taking on those things, is success. This is what others expect us to do, and it is what others praise us for. “Way to step up!” I get it, and I agree with it. And yet, I can’t this time. And I am DAMN proud of it.

After a nearly nine hour day, without a lunch, or any time outside even, glued to my laptop, I was feeling quite defeated. I gave in, and the roar of emails and phone calls took over my focus. I was not proud for having properly covered, staying on top of as much as I could, and keeping an optimistic attitude. I was crushed. I was emotional. I was sad. I was not sure how I was going to figure this all out. I began writing a post on Instagram, simply to remind myself of what is important to me and to also to remind my community – both the ones physically close to me and those that I connect with through my words and photos online. It was a call for support. It was to tell everyone all at once that I am walking passed the opportunity and keeping my eyes on those beautiful peaks in the distance.

Then it hit me. I did something today that I never had before. I stood up for myself and for my writing career. I took a risk. I was honest and transparent. I did not play any games or try to see what I could get from the situation. It did not feel brave in the moment, but when I returned home, and thought about the meaning of success, I felt it. I felt incredibly successful. Not successful in the way that society expects me to be successful, but successful in my fight and drive to have an actual writing career. Even just typing this makes me smile. Rather than a roadblock I now see this change as a test. It is temptation. It’s a distraction.

It’s as if I was hiking my trail, and someone crossed my path and said, “hey! You gotta check out this mountain over here! The path starts right here and goes straight up! You’ll be to the top in no time!” I looked, saw the top, and thought, “well that is great for you, and for others. However, I have been able to climbs to the top of many mountains. I have turned them down because they are not the peaks I seek. I have my sights set for something more challenging. There is no trail to the top. It’s all route finding. There is not even a name to this peak, or a clear point where you are at the top. But I want it. I want it because it will help guide others’ along their own trails. Thank you, but I must keep trekking onwards.”

Have you ever done this? I want to hear your stories!

What did it feel like in the moment?

What does it feel like looking back on it?

What did you learn?

What questions or pressure did you get from others who thought you should take the opportunity right in front of you?